Science for Sociopaths

One: The Inevitable and the Necessary

My mother will say that she has no use for small talk. Though I don't know her reasons, I know that I have inherited this trait from her, and I know my reasons. I feel that life is short and I want it to matter. I want my life to matter to me and, given the chance, I want to matter to you. I want to cut to the crux of what matters to you and make you feel validated. I want to make you feel understood, and I want to be understood by you. Small talk is a comforting ritual to fall back upon with peas of a different pod. But I'm not interested in those peas much. (Unless they can expand my pod...too far with the metaphor?) Finding my people in life is so important to me that small talk seems like a waste of time and energy. In the immortal words of Seth Myers, small talk...ya burnt!

Be as it may that I have reasons to prefer "real talk" to small talk, it's likely that these are reasons concluded post the realization that small talk is a skill that I initially lacked and that I do not enjoy developing. A direct result of my upbringing? Probably. My question these days is, to what extent is this so as it pertains to any or all of my isms? Do I do what I do, desire what I desire, think what I think because it is all I can do, desire or think? Determinism - the philosophical idea that every event or state of affairs, including every human decision and action, is the inevitable and necessary consequence of antecedent states of affairs - suggests so. And yet in retrospect, the path that led me here and how I came upon it is still unclear to me. The mysterious process by which I compulsively compose music is supposedly the "inevitable and necessary consequence" of my existence. In this blog, I will consider why I do what I do as it pertains to music, the creative process, and everything related. I welcome your input on my journey to self awareness and invite you to share your experiences of a similar or varying nature as your synapses fire.

Cheers to sharing the Journey!